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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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8 HOURS EARLIER
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Napoleon, come.
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00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,600
Ugh, shit.
6
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,920
Fuck that.
7
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,560
Shit.
8
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,400
It's going to be a lot of fun, dude.
Mr. Waggle.
9
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:16,200
Dad.
10
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,440
Dad, can I have the car keys?
I'm going to work for a while.
11
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,080
- You mean, now?
- Yes.
12
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,320
- What's going on?
- I'm going to work for a while. Thanks.
13
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,440
- Those chickens again?
- There are more than 300 breeds, Dad.
14
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,120
- Why don't you just sleep?
- It's not that simple.
15
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,480
- No.
- What?
16
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,280
There is nothing to worry about.
17
00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:38,800
I'll just finish up quickly, so I can go
on holiday with peace of mind. Okay, bye.
18
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,680
I told you. She needs to move out again.
19
00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,160
Ni hao, this is Emma.
Are you still open?
20
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:04,280
Ah, great. The Tau Sie Kai Lucky House
with rice noodles, please.
21
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,080
Yes, very well. Thank you.
22
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,400
Chickens, chickens, chickens.
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00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,720
"Chickens are smarter than you think.
Recent studies show that they..."
24
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,279
"The most common parasite is
most often found around the cloaca."
25
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,040
Ew, gross.
26
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,360
Hey.
27
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:30,000
- Hi-dee-hi.
- Hey, sweetheart.
28
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:35,400
It's great here. I've already spoken
to talent scouts. Producers.
29
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,400
- I can feel it.
- Wow, that's great.
30
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,640
- Why aren't you in bed?
- Deadline.
31
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,720
Editing is 24/7. Plus: sleep is overrated.
32
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,560
You're working too hard.
33
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:52,480
What book is so important that it keeps
you there instead of here with me?
34
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,400
And don't you dare say
that chicken encyclopedia.
35
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,720
No, man. Are you crazy?
No, I'm working on...
36
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:03,040
The Sky Falls by Marten Polak.
Here, our star author.
37
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:07,920
- Jesus, what a depressing title.
- Babe, I've got to go.
38
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,160
Make sure you're on time tomorrow,
because I can't do this without you.
39
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,000
Yes, sure. I will. Love you, okay?
40
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,080
Love you too.
41
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,000
The Tau Sie Kai Lucky House,
with noodles.
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00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:19,440
- That's me. Yummy. Have a nice evening.
- You too.
43
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,480
The Sky Falls.
44
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:30,160
What a load of rubbish.
45
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:31,720
Right.
46
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,200
Well, the sky is falling,
starting with the title.
47
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:52,960
It starts with a disaster.
48
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,320
Totally random. Very hard to follow.
49
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,920
And the ending is very abrupt.
50
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:06,880
Emma?
51
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,680
- Emma?
- Oh, yeah.
52
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,720
- Hey.
- Hey, did you stay up all night?
53
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,920
- Good morning.
- What have you done?
54
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,920
Yes, I spotted a few more things.
55
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,960
But Polak is not yours.
56
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,080
Leo said it needs no further editing.
57
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,960
- Just a good cover.
- Yes, I know. But not quite.
58
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,120
And now
we can still do something about it.
59
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,560
What?
60
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:36,800
Stop that book.
61
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,120
Good morning.
62
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,920
Hey.
Weren't you supposed to be on vacation?
63
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,960
Almost. Really looking forward to it. Leo?
64
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,120
- Has anyone seen The Sky Falls?
- Yes.
65
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,080
It can't go to print like this.
I read it twice last night.
66
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,120
- All 548 pages?
- Yes, and it is...
67
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:57,640
- Vague? Hard to follow? Pretentious?
- Yes. All of the above.
68
00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:01,160
By the first chapter, you've already
lost the main character. He does nothing.
69
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,720
I thought the only thing left
was to pick the cover color.
70
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,400
Azure or indigo...
71
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,440
You should go with indigo anyway.
That's just a nicer color.
72
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,960
But it's weird to choose a cover color
73
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,120
- when the book itself is colorless.
- That's not up to you.
74
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,720
He's one of our flagship authors.
75
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,880
You'll end up with an unreadable flagship.
76
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,880
With people thinking,
"What the hell is he saying?"
77
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,760
What are you actually doing here?
You're off work, aren't you?
78
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,120
Off work? What for?
79
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,240
- What you need is a vacation.
- A vacation?
80
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,960
So, Leo. About the chicken encyclopedia.
81
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:37,320
I just need to cover the Danish Land Fowl
and the Tournai Bantam...
82
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,560
Emma, go on vacation.
83
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,000
All right. Whatever...
84
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:44,360
Are you okay?
85
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,720
What? Yes. I'm doing really well.
86
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,560
- And you?
- Yeah, okay.
87
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,200
- Do you want a hug?
- Oh, well...
88
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,160
Thank you.
89
00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,640
We'll see each other again in a few weeks.
90
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,360
Completely recharged. Yay!
91
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,880
Hey babe, how are you getting on?
I'll see you in a minute, right?
92
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,240
Yeah, shit.
93
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,560
Hey, baby!
94
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,919
Yeah, so I won't actually be able to come.
95
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,039
No, it's a crisis situation here.
96
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:40,840
Terrible book, author's upset. So...
97
00:08:40,919 --> 00:08:43,919
So actually I really cannot
leave here right now.
98
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:50,600
Yeah, okay. Love you.
99
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,480
Hey.
100
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,720
Come on.
101
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,280
Okay.
102
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,000
These are happy tears.
103
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:52,680
Oh, come on.
104
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:27,240
Sorry.
105
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:43,960
- Yes...
- Yes?
106
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:52,240
Can I go now? I have a boat to catch.
107
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,880
Ah. Yes, thanks.
108
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,400
- Emma Nieuwenhuis...
- Really? That's my name too.
109
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,240
They really examined me thoroughly.
110
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,520
Yes, I can see that.
But I still have a few questions.
111
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,680
Okay, so I was on my way home from work.
112
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,920
I am an editor at Vita Brevis publishing.
Have you heard of it?
113
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,520
Doesn't matter.
114
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,960
So I was driving home from work.
There was a bend.
115
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,440
I swerved. Splash, end of story.
116
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,000
Oh, sorry.
I haven't introduced myself yet.
117
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,600
My name is Dr. Visser.
I am a psychiatrist.
118
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,520
Hi.
119
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:33,360
Emma Nieuwenhuis. Editor. Anyway...
120
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:38,400
I have to go.
Because I'm actually going on vacation.
121
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,600
- On vacation?
- Yes, so nice. With my boyfriend.
122
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:48,560
The emergency services said
that you didn't want help. Emma?
123
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:52,800
- Shock reaction?
- Maybe.
124
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,000
But I'm still worried.
125
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,360
I think it would be good if you stayed
on the psychiatric ward for a bit.
126
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,680
The psychiatric ward?
127
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,080
I was just talking to Emma.
128
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,160
Whether it might be a good idea
129
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,080
to take her in for observation at the BHU.
130
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:31,200
B-H-U. the Behavioral Health Unit
of a general hospital.
131
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,480
Do you know why you're here, Emma?
132
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,280
Yes, we just talked about it, didn't we?
133
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,960
This was bound to happen.
134
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:45,520
Dick, it was a car accident.
These things happen. Right?
135
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,200
I mean, this is all just a mistake,
isn't it?
136
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,600
- That's exactly what I said, Mom.
- Yes.
137
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:55,720
There's nothing seriously wrong, right?
138
00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:00,240
Yeah, I really don't understand it either.
139
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:01,240
No.
140
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:05,800
Maybe I might potentially be
a tiny bit overworked.
141
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,120
But I feel that all my colleagues
are overworked.
142
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,800
- And they're not all in here.
- No.
143
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,040
It is an occupational hazard.
144
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,880
Strict authors, super-tight deadlines.
145
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:19,000
I read in your medical file that you
haven't been admitted before?
146
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:20,240
- No.
- No.
147
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,120
- Outpatient care?
- What do you mean exactly?
148
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,680
- Psychologist, psychiatrist.
- No, nothing like that.
149
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,040
No.
150
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:31,760
But maybe this is a good time, Pipsqueak.
151
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,880
- To take a short break.
- Dick.
152
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,520
But Dad, I was just about
to go on vacation.
153
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,040
- Why not?
- Are you serious?
154
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,520
What actually happens
if I don't want this?
155
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,520
If necessary, I can force an admission.
156
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:46,240
But that takes much longer
than it really needs to.
157
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,960
I'd really rather not do that.
158
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,080
But I also don't want to
send you home like this.
159
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,800
"Like this"? There's nothing wrong
with her. What do you mean, "like this"?
160
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:59,320
If I really must,
I'll just stay one night, okay?
161
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,680
That seems like a good start.
162
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,080
Or two. Max.
163
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:09,240
If you'd like to fill this out, please?
164
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,120
Photo.
165
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,880
Oops. No worries.
166
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,840
Sorry, we're confiscating these.
167
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:24,560
Oh, right.
168
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,280
And your hairbrush.
169
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:30,320
My hairbrush? What would I do with that?
Comb myself to death?
170
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,520
Sorry.
171
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,200
- All done.
- Right. Thanks.
172
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,320
Emma Nieuwenhuis, editor.
173
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:47,880
We have Dien's bed,
but it needs to be made first.
174
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:52,480
- Wow, that's a lot of pills.
- Yes, I have a lot of headaches.
175
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,480
Or rather, I get headaches very often.
176
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,480
Best to have a stash, or it's back
and forth to the pharmacy.
177
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:58,960
And I don't have time for that.
178
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,680
I'm off on holiday now
with my boyfriend, to Terschelling.
179
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,600
He's being discovered
at an open mic event.
180
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:07,520
So we're just tacking on some camping,
mudflat walking, and relaxing.
181
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,960
If you have any questions,
you can ask Sandra or Jesse.
182
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,360
Sure.
183
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:15,160
These are the house rules.
Practical info about the ward.
184
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:19,360
Take a look at them,
so you know how things work here.
185
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,400
Here you go.
186
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,840
The rules are simple.
187
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,320
For now, no staying
in your room during the day.
188
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,920
No smoking in your room,
no eating in your room.
189
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:33,160
- No sleeping in your room?
- Well, you get pills for that.
190
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,440
And this is your room.
191
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,600
Marja, this is Emma. Emma, Marja.
192
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,080
- Marja, can you show Emma around?
- Yes.
193
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,440
If you have any questions,
you know where to find me.
194
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,800
Everything will be fine.
195
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,200
- Hi.
- Hi.
196
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:54,080
So, this is your bed,
bedside table, wardrobe.
197
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:57,080
I don't really need it.
I'll be out of here in no time.
198
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,280
It won't open any further.
199
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,560
Shit. Everything is soaking wet.
200
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,359
Oh no, this is work.
201
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,200
This is the chicken encyclopedia
I'm editing.
202
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,960
I have A to D done,
but D to Z still needs work.
203
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:24,440
Anyway, I'm going on holiday
with my boyfriend, so...
204
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,200
- Come on, I haven't had my coffee yet.
- Sure.
205
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,640
He's sitting on the couch, coffee in hand.
206
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,280
I say, "Guus, you're asleep."
207
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,840
He opens his eyes and says,
"I'm just thinking."
208
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,560
- Hi.
- Hey.
209
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,240
- Nice hair.
- Thanks. You too.
210
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,440
Well, the coffee sucks here.
Just so you know.
211
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:53,040
Jesse, I can't function without coffee.
I'm shaking just thinking about it.
212
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,960
And I'm not the only one.
That goes for every normal person.
213
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,280
Here. Joyce, coffee. Dimitri, coffee.
214
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:01,200
- Johan, you drink coffee. How much a day?
- 44.
215
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,880
That seems a bit excessive.
216
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:08,680
Everyone, this is Emma.
Emma, this is everyone.
217
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:14,400
- Emma's not really supposed to be here.
- Yeah, a bit of a mix-up.
218
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,520
Oh. Hey. My super-hot boyfriend.
219
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,560
- Hi.
- Emma?
220
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,120
- No phones at the table.
- Honey.
221
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,360
And unfortunately no walking off
during meals either.
222
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,280
Em.
223
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,040
- I'll call you right back.
- But, Em--
224
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:32,480
- Yeah.
- No.
225
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,560
Babe, finally. I've tried calling you
a million times. Where are you?
226
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,360
Hey, baby. Yeah, something's up.
227
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,040
- I'm kind of at a hospital.
- Kind of?
228
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,640
Like a psychiatric retreat.
229
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,440
A psychiatric retreat?
230
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:52,680
Darling. I had a minor accident. Drove
the car into the canal. Nothing serious.
231
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,880
- What? I'm coming to you. Where are you?
- No, babe, no.
232
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,280
- Listen, don't do anything.
- I will.
233
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:00,960
I don't want you putting everything
on the line for me.
234
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,600
Focus on your music.
There's nothing you can do here.
235
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,240
- I'll probably be home tomorrow.
- You could've died.
236
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,760
Really, don't. Go rock it there
and blow them away, okay?
237
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,080
- Love you.
- No, Em. Come on.
238
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,640
I think it's so dull. Guus loves fishing.
239
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:29,560
I just sit there. It's not too bad
when the weather is nice.
240
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,520
No, it is not right,
that I only get two pills.
241
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,040
One temazepam for
Ms. Nieuwenhuis. Is that right?
242
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,360
I don't know. What's in it?
243
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,160
It is sleep medication.
No need for concern.
244
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,480
Everyone here is taking it.
245
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,880
If you don't take your meds,
I must report it to the psychiatrist.
246
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:54,360
Then we'll find another way
to make sure you take it anyway.
247
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,560
- Well done.
- There you go.
248
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:07,160
Yummy.
249
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,080
I have a weirdly heavy head.
250
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,320
Just let the pill do its job.
251
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,120
- What is that?
- Meditation.
252
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:35,240
It's either this or googling all night
if I can do without my organs.
253
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,200
No, I don't mean that. I mean...
254
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,360
You scared me.
255
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,520
- You're Emma, right?
- Yes.
256
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:48,280
We do a round three times a night,
so you can go back to sleep.
257
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:50,800
Yeah.
258
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,520
How am I supposed to sleep
if they come by three times a night?
259
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,440
You meditate.
260
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,040
Meditate? I'd rather die.
261
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,720
Chickens are much smarter than you think.
Wait, I already covered that.
262
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,360
The most common parasite is
often found around the cloaca.
263
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,680
Ew, gross.
264
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:37,800
Ouch.
265
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,560
Oh, shit.
266
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:45,280
Hey.
267
00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:46,600
- Hey.
Hey.
268
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:51,160
- Hey. I'm back.
- What? How come you're back already?
269
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,680
Yeah, well... Just look behind you.
270
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,920
- Hi.
- Hey.
271
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,120
I thought I'd call you first.
272
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,800
Could you open the door?
273
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,240
Hi.
274
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,280
- Come on in.
- Thanks.
275
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,880
Hey, babe.
276
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,400
- How was it?
- Yeah, how are you?
277
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:19,120
- You look good. Just normal.
- Yes, I think so too. Come.
278
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,400
Hi.
279
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,200
No running, Mr. De Bruin.
280
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,760
What would Guus think
if we sold everything
281
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,240
to travel the world in a camper?
282
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:35,480
- Sorry, I don't know Guus, Joyce.
- We have never even met him.
283
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:41,920
Hi. I'm Sergei. I'm Emma's boyfriend.
284
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,440
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you. Cute.
285
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:46,960
Come on.
286
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,240
I'm glad to see
a normal person for a change.
287
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,560
Yeah, I get that.
288
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:57,280
- Babe, what are you doing here?
- Tell me, how was it?
289
00:22:57,360 --> 00:23:01,040
- Huh? Oh well... It sucked.
- Yeah?
290
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:04,040
Maybe you shouldn't just
sing other people's songs all the time.
291
00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:08,160
Maybe. But babe, why are you here?
292
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,120
- I need to stay a little longer.
- Huh?
293
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:15,000
No, why?
294
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:19,160
I've just been working too hard.
I need to rest here for a bit.
295
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,480
I totally get that. But why here?
You could rest at my place.
296
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:26,600
Baby, if something serious were wrong
with me, you'd have noticed, right?
297
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:27,480
Yeah.
298
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,840
- Of course.
- There you go.
299
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,200
Well... Here.
300
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:42,680
This one doesn't talk much,
but is always positive.
301
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,880
How sweet. Thank you.
302
00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:49,520
Thanks.
303
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,800
I'm scared because you never know
what you'll be thinking next.
304
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,040
Like how you can't see
the back of your own head.
305
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,160
If you think about that,
it drives you mad.
306
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,720
If you think about things like that,
I reckon you're mad anyway.
307
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:08,600
Joyce.
308
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,880
Is there anyone else
who'd like to respond to Marja?
309
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,200
No.
310
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,320
Go ahead.
311
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,080
- Now I have to go home.
- That's great.
312
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,480
- I mean, that's a good thing, right?
- Yeah, well...
313
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,840
My whole life was fine for a long time.
314
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,080
Until they had to drag me
out of the neighbors’ kitchen.
315
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,320
Naked, screaming.
316
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,760
I broke my son's nose.
317
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,880
Why the neighbors' kitchen?
Didn't you have one yourself?
318
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,040
But being allowed to go home,
that's positive, right?
319
00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:46,640
I'd kill to be allowed to go home.
320
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,440
I think Guus would really like it
if I came home now too.
321
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,640
Yeah, nobody wants to be here, do they?
322
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,280
- Emma.
- Yes?
323
00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:58,960
Is there anything you'd like to share
with the group? About yourself?
324
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,120
No.
325
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,800
No, I'm completely fine.
326
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,240
What?
327
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,080
- Emma...
- It's fine. I'm fine.
328
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,480
I'm okay.
329
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:20,680
Can you just check if that's correct?
330
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,600
- Mr. De Bruin is in a hurry again.
- Sprint to the finish.
331
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,320
Chickens sleep better on a raised perch.
332
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,240
It stops their feathers getting dirty
when they poo at night.
333
00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:24,280
- Hi.
- Hey.
334
00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:27,000
Hi, sweetheart.
335
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:28,840
- Hi, Dad.
- Hello, hon.
336
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,200
- Nice.
- Yeah.
337
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,720
Right.
338
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,560
So, how are you?
339
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,080
- We're adapting.
- Yeah. No, I get it.
340
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,360
It's not easy for us either, of course.
341
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,800
But well, a burnout, it's just a phase.
It's just a blip.
342
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,760
You just need to take a step back
for a bit.
343
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,960
- Did you bring them?
- Yes.
344
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,120
- What are you doing?
- Well, she asked for them.
345
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,640
- You can't do this.
- Dick, she asked for them.
346
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:14,080
- So you're just carrying on working here?
- No running, Mr. De Bruin.
347
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,760
No, this isn't working. This is...
348
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,880
therapeutically
staying in touch with reality.
349
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:23,920
It's like micro-dosing. Very on-trend
in the therapy world right now.
350
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,840
- If you want to... If it helps...
- Is that what they say here?
351
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,880
I just need to stay connected
to my healthy productive self, Dad.
352
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,520
- That's completely normal.
- Yeah, that's really good.
353
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,920
I'm so glad you're doing a bit better.
354
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,040
- Are you going for walks much?
- In my head, Mom.
355
00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:43,360
Exercise and good sleep.
That's the best medicine.
356
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,400
Yeah. Absolutely.
357
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:54,000
Sometimes you've got to disappear
for a bit, if you don't want to drown.
358
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:57,440
- Hi.
- Well, I never. Dientje.
359
00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:01,000
- No, back so soon?
- Yeah, I missed you guys.
360
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,440
Oh, love. Hey.
361
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:09,240
For fuck's sake. I told you
it was too soon, didn't I?
362
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,480
- Come and sit down.
- Thanks.
363
00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:14,120
What's happened, love?
364
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,320
Well, I bought a rope.
365
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,600
And I took the train to a forest.
366
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,880
- And I chose a tree.
- And...
367
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,880
And the rope was too long.
368
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:31,840
Yeah.
369
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,960
Apparently karma had other plans.
370
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:43,600
Fuck karma.
371
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,040
Do you recognize this?
372
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,400
Emma, do you recognize yourself in this?
373
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:10,720
I honestly really do not understand
why I'm even here, okay?
374
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:14,960
It doesn't make sense. There is nothing
wrong with me. I just want to go home.
375
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:18,280
What I'm hearing from the therapist is:
you're still not sleeping.
376
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,280
You're suppressing your feelings.
You're barely engaging in therapy.
377
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,880
Well, those are things I'll work on
at home. All right?
378
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:25,560
Scout's honor.
379
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,040
Do you know what it is?
380
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,920
I'm worried about what will happen
to you if you go home now.
381
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,040
Oh, you really don't need to.
382
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,280
Do you ever think about suicide?
383
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,120
Oof.
384
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,920
No more than the average person.
What about you?
385
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:53,400
The average person
doesn't think about suicide, Emma.
386
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,480
I have several plans to end my life.
387
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,920
But that doesn't mean
I'm going to do it. Come on.
388
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,600
They're thoughts.
That's not a reason to be sectioned.
389
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,520
- Isn't it?
- No. It's completely normal.
390
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,520
And what exactly is "normal"?
391
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,960
Okay, I'm not saying
I'm talking about myself.
392
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,040
But everyone wants to die sometimes.
393
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,480
Some people
maybe a bit more often than others.
394
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:25,400
As long as it's just thoughts... Right?
395
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,680
Everyone has dark thoughts sometimes.
396
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,840
And as long as it stays that way...
But your accident?
397
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,400
All those pills in your suitcase...
That worries me.
398
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,400
They have nothing to do with each other,
Dr. Visser. Honestly.
399
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,160
Maybe not, but...
400
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:42,880
All things considered,
I think you're suicidal.
401
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:44,560
Probably due to depression.
402
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,200
Sorry, but... Depressed?
403
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:57,800
Sorry, but if I had depression,
404
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:01,240
I wouldn't be laughing this much
right now, would I?
405
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,400
It's not that clear-cut.
406
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:10,640
Sorry, never mind me.
407
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:14,520
I've been having that a lot lately.
Hormones, I reckon.
408
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,240
According to protocol
I want you to stay here for now.
409
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,280
For now? And what does that mean?
Are we talking a day?
410
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:27,800
- A week? A month?
- We'll have to see.
411
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,000
In the meantime, it would be good
to keep a journal.
412
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:33,000
I don't have time for that.
413
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,040
You've got all the time in the world here.
414
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:40,160
And I really think it could help.
To get a grip on things.
415
00:31:58,720 --> 00:31:59,760
Thanks.
416
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,120
Hey.
417
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,000
No, because we were running late.
That's why.
418
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:33,080
Yes.
419
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,160
Chickens are descended from dinosaurs.
420
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:42,160
They are very closely related
to the T-Rex.
421
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,160
T-Rexes are terrifying creatures.
422
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,640
They wait until you are weak.
Then they strike. No mercy.
423
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:51,000
Focus. I need to find the source
of domestication in Egypt.
424
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,680
Where is it?
When in danger, some chickens...
425
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,560
Some chickens, when they're in danger...
426
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,440
When in danger,
some chickens pretend to be dead.
427
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,680
I find that hilarious.
I'll jot that down later.
428
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,000
So basically, my whole life,
I've been pretending to be alive.
429
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,240
- Can you cut a bit more gently?
- Chickens.
430
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,280
- Cutting.
- Okay.
431
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,840
So many vowels.
432
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:33,240
- D?
- No, no D.
433
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:37,240
- Then O, possibly? No?
- Afraid not.
434
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,400
Oh, gosh. I'm nearly dead.
435
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,120
Hey.
436
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:59,000
Jesus, you scared me. Couldn't sleep?
437
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,880
- I'm not a very good sleeper.
- No, me neither.
438
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,560
Oh, nice.
439
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:18,040
My dad wants me to take over
the barbershop once I'm done here.
440
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:21,199
But how?
441
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:26,639
When I'm scared of touching anything
without disinfecting it first?
442
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,320
Maybe you should
start with something really small.
443
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:35,080
Do you want to try?
444
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,280
Here. Just a small strand.
445
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,199
Okay.
446
00:34:48,159 --> 00:34:49,719
Okay.
447
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,600
Okay, okay.
448
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,040
Thank you.
449
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:10,400
And what's got you out of bed,
Emma Nieuwenhuis?
450
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:45,360
Hi.
451
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,840
- Hey.
- Hey, there you are.
452
00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:01,320
Jesus, Em. How are you?
Your parents filled me in a bit.
453
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:02,800
- Yeah, really great.
- Okay.
454
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,960
Here you go. From the publishing house.
From us.
455
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:07,240
Yay!
456
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:14,040
- Is it something bad?
- Oh, no.
457
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,680
- Thank God.
- Not at all, no.
458
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:20,520
They just think that little accident
was down to exhaustion, or something.
459
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,480
So I have to rest here for a bit.
460
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,840
Okay, yeah.
461
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,160
Do you want to see my room?
462
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,320
Nice, right?
The text is as good as finished.
463
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,360
The illustrations
just need perfecting, and then...
464
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:43,920
Oh, dear.
465
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:48,560
Em, it's already at the printer's.
I just finished it myself.
466
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,800
Okay.
467
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,360
That's great. I mean, brilliant, right?
468
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,800
Saves me a job. Super.
469
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,240
As long as it turned out nicely.
470
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,920
I should get going now.
I've got therapy and all that.
471
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,120
Are you sure you're okay?
472
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:21,160
No, but I'm sure they've got
a pill for that too.
473
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:29,040
- Good luck.
- Already got it.
474
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:31,600
Hey.
475
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:33,800
- Okay.
- Okay, bye.
476
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:58,440
- You all right?
- Yeah.
477
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,480
I'm meditating.
478
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,400
Emma?
479
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:28,320
Hey, babe.
480
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,720
Hello. What's up?
481
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:36,040
- Hi.
- Hello.
482
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,160
- How's it going?
- Super.
483
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:48,440
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
484
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,680
Are you cold?
485
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:56,080
You're shivering all over. Here, wait.
486
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:07,560
There.
487
00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:10,840
Hey...
488
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:15,440
My love? I made something for you.
489
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:19,440
I thought maybe it'd cheer you up.
It's not finished yet, but...
490
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:24,400
It's more of a start, a kind of sketch.
Wrote it myself.
491
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:33,880
Tears in your beautiful eyes
And your hands in your hair
492
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:41,520
My darling, I'll make the sun shine again
493
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,840
Trust me
494
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:48,080
I'll turn on the light for you
495
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,320
Just follow me
496
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:53,080
When you're weak, I'll be strong
497
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,240
That's as far as I've got.
498
00:39:58,280 --> 00:39:59,880
So cool.
499
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,320
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
500
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:08,040
It is not finished yet. Obviously.
501
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,920
It'll get... Later. More. Better.
502
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,760
I think better later, okay?
I have a bit of a headache. Sorry.
503
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:15,960
- Oh, is that it?
- Yeah.
504
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:23,480
Hey. Em?
505
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:26,800
How are you really?
506
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:29,960
I hate that question.
507
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:53,840
- Cramps.
- Careful.
508
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:55,440
- Cramps.
- Mr. De Bruin?
509
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:06,640
Were you waiting for the bus?
510
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,160
Not exactly.
511
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,200
There are two loonies at a bus stop.
512
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,720
One says to the other,
"Are you taking the bus?"
513
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:20,560
The other replies,
"No, I'm going for pills."
514
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,320
- Marja?
- Yes?
515
00:42:27,240 --> 00:42:30,520
- Do you ever want to die?
- No.
516
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:34,000
No. I'm scared of living.
517
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,680
- That's pretty rough too.
- Yeah.
518
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,160
- Come on.
- Yeah.
519
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,560
Okay. Here I go.
520
00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:12,880
I'm Emma.
521
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:18,440
Successful woman. Junior editor.
522
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:23,360
Perfect life with a perfect boyfriend.
Perfect. Everything just perfect.
523
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,720
But apparently I'm a danger.
524
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:29,320
Not for others, but to myself.
And now here I am.
525
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:30,960
In this place.
526
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:32,800
Stuck in my own head.
527
00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:37,000
And in a way, I get it.
528
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:40,360
I often just feel completely empty.
529
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:41,840
Do you know what it is?
530
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,080
It feels like I have to keep moving
all the time.
531
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,760
Because if I stop,
everything will catch up with me.
532
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,240
- Five.
- Seven.
533
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:52,040
What?
534
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:53,640
I know, Johan. Counting is hard.
535
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:57,880
Was that necessary?
536
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,520
Just trying to help. Someone's got to
prepare him for the real world.
537
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:07,360
- And you're a shining example of that.
- I didn't say that.
538
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:10,080
But if you're going to do something,
do it properly.
539
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:11,560
Hi.
540
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:18,520
- Are you a writer?
- No, I'm an editor.
541
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:23,600
A professional at improving things
that were already good enough.
542
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:27,800
No, a professional at improving things
that people think are good enough.
543
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:31,680
- I'm Boudewijn.
- Emma.
544
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:33,920
- I'm a chef.
- What kind of chef?
545
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:35,880
One with a hat.
546
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,200
No, seriously,
I work as a head chef at Hotel UP.
547
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,560
Really? They've got a star, haven't they?
548
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:43,680
You are sitting opposite a celebrity.
549
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,560
That star lost its shine
when you started hitting people.
550
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:50,120
Details, Marja. How long
have you been in here again?
551
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:54,240
Long enough to see you return, Boudewijn.
552
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:56,600
- Why are you here?
- Why are you here?
553
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:58,520
You first.
554
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:03,040
- I'm in here for delusions of grandeur.
- Oh, yeah?
555
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:06,800
Just yesterday, I tried to invade Belgium
on a rocking horse.
556
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:08,480
Let me guess. Didn't work?
557
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:13,120
Not quite, but I'll keep trying. And you?
558
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,080
Drama.
559
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:19,800
I was five when I saw my mother
get eaten by vultures at Artis Zoo.
560
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,480
Look, that's a smile.
561
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,600
- I'm not smiling.
- Oh, no. Of course not.
562
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,640
You're really annoying.
563
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,400
You'll get there, Marja.
564
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,280
Thanks.
565
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,320
So, you're abandoning me?
566
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:51,960
If it were up to me, I'd move in here
for good. You know that.
567
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:56,680
- I'm never getting out of here.
- Of course you will. Give it a chance.
568
00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:00,200
Oh, a chance? That's a good one. Sure.
569
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:07,080
{\an8}Take care of yourself.
570
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:10,720
That is quite a responsibility.
Not really my strong suit, you know that.
571
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:22,000
Fancy a jigsaw?
572
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:25,000
A therapeutic stroll round the garden?
573
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:26,880
Game of ping-pong later?
574
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,080
If that's what you want to call it...
575
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:38,520
And this is your room.
576
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:42,120
Emma, this is Kim. Kim, this is Emma.
577
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:45,400
Emma, could you show Kim the ropes?
578
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,800
If you have any questions,
you know where I am.
579
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:52,040
Hi, I'm Kim. I'm new.
580
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,760
I'm Emma. Old guard.
581
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,680
Well, that's your bed.
And that's your wardrobe.
582
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:03,320
No need. I'll be gone tomorrow.
I still have to hand in my thesis.
583
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,520
That's your noticeboard. Your desk.
584
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:11,760
I drank a bottle of bleach because I
thought my dad might finally notice me.
585
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,520
Spoiler: he didn't.
586
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,680
Oh, and I hear voices. Well, sometimes.
587
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:19,520
Nothing scary, though.
More like shopping lists.
588
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,160
Okay, come on.
589
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:29,040
- My deepest wish?
- Yes.
590
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:32,040
What do you really want, deep down?
591
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:34,600
I could say 'death' again,
but that's such a cliché.
592
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:38,280
But wanting to die, that's the pathology.
That's what you're suffering from.
593
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:41,280
You're not the pain in your big toe
or your rotten tooth.
594
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:44,520
- What does Emma want?
- Yeah.
595
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:47,280
What does Emma really want?
596
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,440
How should I know?
597
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:53,480
Apparently I'm not my pain
and I'm not my mood,
598
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,920
but the pills for that mood
change the way I think.
599
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:00,200
So how would I know?
What am I supposed to be, then?
600
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:01,800
Interesting you should say that.
601
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:06,720
- That I say what?
- About the pills.
602
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:07,880
It's true, isn't it?
603
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:12,720
But what did you want
before you wanted to die?
604
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:14,840
Tell me.
605
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:20,160
Emma has always wanted to die. Right?
606
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:25,480
Just like everyone else, she thinks.
607
00:48:27,240 --> 00:48:28,280
Not me.
608
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,160
- Me neither.
- Or me.
609
00:48:30,240 --> 00:48:31,040
Me neither.
610
00:48:38,240 --> 00:48:42,400
Okay, I'm going to confess something.
I'm officially fucked up.
611
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:45,120
No, okay. That sounds way too dramatic.
612
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:48,960
But the people here are actually
pretty all right. Most of them.
613
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:53,880
Shit, I fell out of bed. Sorry.
614
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,680
In here, we're all just a bit broken.
615
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:04,440
Now for a ghastly coffee.
616
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:34,880
- Hey.
- Hi.
617
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:38,440
Want to play ping-pong?
618
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:43,120
No, I don't want trouble.
619
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,400
Fine. I'll put something on.
620
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,200
Don't bother.
621
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:07,160
Wait.
622
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:09,360
Duck.
623
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:13,360
Hurry.
624
00:50:21,240 --> 00:50:23,520
Come on.
625
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:25,440
Look, you can see it from here.
626
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:31,960
That's where I work.
627
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:35,080
Or... Well, not right now.
628
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:39,680
A customer complained about
the temperature of his swordfish.
629
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:43,640
So I walked into the restaurant
to tell him it was perfect.
630
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,120
Then I punched him in the face.
631
00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:53,040
My boss, also my ex-wife...
632
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:57,440
mother of my son Ollie,
was not too happy about that.
633
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,480
Maybe I shouldn't have headbutted him.
634
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:05,120
Or dragged him across three tables.
635
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,880
So they gave me a choice.
Criminal charges. Or this.
636
00:51:10,720 --> 00:51:13,240
In the end, I wasn't happy with it either.
637
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,760
That's why I went back to the psych ward.
638
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:26,760
- All right, here we go.
- Bring it on.
639
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:41,880
Yes. Point for me.
640
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:43,920
- Phew.
- There.
641
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:45,200
Hey.
642
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:52,080
Bam.
643
00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:55,240
Sorry.
644
00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:02,160
Bam.
645
00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:05,320
- Point for Emma.
- Boudewijn, come on.
646
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:12,520
- Bam.
- Point for Emma.
647
00:52:18,720 --> 00:52:20,240
Come on, Boudewijn. Come on.
648
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:22,760
Hi. Is it exciting?
649
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:25,720
Yes, very.
650
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:26,920
Oh, my God.
651
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:30,960
Shh. Quiet for Emma.
652
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:32,680
- Yes!
- Point for Boudewijn.
653
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:33,840
Yeah, Boudewijn.
654
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:44,320
One more point and you'll bite the dust.
655
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,480
Who taught you to count? Huh?
656
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:48,960
- I...
- Bou, stop.
657
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:52,560
- Okay, match point.
- Match point.
658
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:06,800
Yes!
659
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:07,760
Yes, bam!
660
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:09,680
Nice one, Em!
661
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:10,680
21, 19, Emma wins.
662
00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:13,080
No, you just can't count, man.
663
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:20,120
- You're such a pathetic loser.
- Bou, come on.
664
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:24,120
You're yelling at someone trying
to keep score in a ping-pong game
665
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:26,720
like they're your sous chef.
666
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:30,600
Going great, huh? Mr. Tough Guy.
Look at yourself. In your bathrobe.
667
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:32,040
Cut it out.
668
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:33,000
Stop it.
669
00:53:34,720 --> 00:53:35,960
What is going on here?
670
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:40,000
- What is this your idea, Boudewijn?
- Shit. I...
671
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,520
No, no.
672
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:44,120
I challenged him.
673
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,200
Everyone to bed, now.
674
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:52,680
Come on.
675
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:22,000
Well, day... I don't even know anymore,
I've lost track.
676
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,640
But I'm still in the psych ward.
677
00:54:24,720 --> 00:54:26,240
Another day.
678
00:54:27,240 --> 00:54:28,480
Another one leaving.
679
00:54:35,240 --> 00:54:37,360
Even more pills now.
680
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:42,400
They say it'll get better,
but when, exactly?
681
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:44,800
I don't even know
what "better" feels like.
682
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:49,040
Structure is important, they say.
So breakfast, lunch, therapy.
683
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:53,400
The only thing I really know for sure
is that I know nothing for sure.
684
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:55,400
I don't know what I want anymore.
685
00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:58,040
What I do know is that
I don't want to live like this.
686
00:54:58,120 --> 00:54:59,960
- Thanks, Lars.
- Thank you.
687
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,800
See you tomorrow.
688
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:04,720
- Until tomorrow.
- See you.
689
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:12,600
Maybe this is enough.
690
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:18,280
Not understanding everything,
just carrying on. Maybe that's better.
691
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:26,280
I want to stop thinking. Stop thinking
about wanting to stop thinking.
692
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:31,080
Emma. Got a minute?
693
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:33,680
Yeah, I've got all day.
694
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:40,440
How are you feeling?
695
00:55:42,240 --> 00:55:45,800
I don't know. You are the psychiatrist.
Am I on track?
696
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:49,720
- How do you think it is going?
- Yeah, great.
697
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:55,120
I think that we have to try
a different approach.
698
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:57,520
Stop the antidepressants.
699
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:00,000
They're clearly not doing
what we hoped they would.
700
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:01,760
Stop?
701
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:05,000
- Yes, stop. And then--
- Let me guess.
702
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:08,360
- New pills, doctor?
- Yes.
703
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:11,200
New medication, Emma.
704
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:15,400
I understand this is frustrating, but
you need to start taking this seriously.
705
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:20,680
Give it a chance.
Work with it, not against it.
706
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,960
So if I understand correctly, I get pills
for my so-called depression.
707
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:27,360
But I still have to stay positive,
or they won't work.
708
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,080
- I'm trying to help you.
- Yeah, I noticed.
709
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:37,800
You have to ask yourself whether pills
can solve your problems at all.
710
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:39,080
How do you mean?
711
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:43,320
Maybe the BHU isn't right for you anymore.
712
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:51,320
I do want to get better and go home.
713
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:54,320
But maybe you'd be better off
somewhere else.
714
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:58,040
Sometimes it's better not to wait for
a solution, but to try something new.
715
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:03,360
Oh, right.
716
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:10,600
Hey, great. Let me know when you
come up with another brilliant idea.
717
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:29,840
- Emma. Emma? Hey, hello?
- I'm not doing anything. I'm fine.
718
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:47,120
- Not allowed, you know?
- No.
719
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:52,600
Can you please stay out of this?
720
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,320
Not allowed either, right?
721
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,680
My ex won't let me see my son anymore.
722
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:16,400
She says it's too dangerous.
723
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:20,680
Probably her new boyfriend's idea.
724
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:23,360
Prick.
725
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:28,440
Probably for the best.
726
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:33,920
I have never been a role model.
Not as a brother, not as a son.
727
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:36,240
And now not as a father either.
728
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:41,600
They used to say I was too sensitive.
That I didn't fit in with the family.
729
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:47,720
Until I got a star.
Then suddenly I did belong.
730
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:54,600
You know, I don't even know
how to do that. Belong somewhere.
731
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:58,720
I don't even belong with my own child.
732
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:14,280
Do you ever wish you could fall asleep
and not wake up?
733
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,280
I've wanted that for so long.
734
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:25,040
I don't even know
what it's like not to want that.
735
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:29,800
Just that thought comforts me.
That it could just happen.
736
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:32,560
- That you have it as a fallback?
- Yeah.
737
00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:36,440
- That you're just one step away.
- Yeah, duh.
738
00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:45,320
Why don't we just do it?
739
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:50,840
What? Now?
740
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:54,640
Yeah. Together.
741
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:00,840
But not here.
742
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:05,840
Come on.
743
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:28,360
Look.
744
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:50,720
- Go.
- Where are you going with those balloons?
745
01:00:58,400 --> 01:00:59,800
Wait.
746
01:00:59,880 --> 01:01:01,080
Thank you.
747
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:07,280
Okay, what do we do now?
748
01:01:08,160 --> 01:01:12,000
First we eat, obviously. Dying on
an empty stomach is not done.
749
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:15,160
What are you in the mood for,
after all that delicious hospital food?
750
01:01:15,240 --> 01:01:17,600
- I want Lucky House.
- Lucky House.
751
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:22,200
Ni hao. Welcome.
752
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:25,120
Zhé ge.
753
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:27,360
Zhé ge. And Tau Sie Kai.
754
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:29,600
Can I get a vodka?
755
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:31,800
Actually, make it the whole bottle.
756
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:33,600
Put it on the publisher's tab.
757
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:36,360
- You're hungry.
- Starving.
758
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:40,960
Hello, Mr. Crab. Hello.
759
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:52,800
- Do you believe in life after death?
- Fuck, no.
760
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:56,920
I hope not, at least.
Otherwise all this effort is for nothing.
761
01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:01,760
I used to want to come back
as a butterfly. They seem so cheerful.
762
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:04,920
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
763
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:08,880
Until I realized they can probably
get just as depressed as people.
764
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:11,720
And why do you think that?
765
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:15,280
Because looking happy
says nothing about how you feel.
766
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:21,760
So why have you
never written a book yourself?
767
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:24,360
Instead of scribbling in those of others?
768
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:26,400
I can't.
769
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:30,560
A fairytale about a very beautiful,
funny, sometimes slightly cynical girl?
770
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:34,480
- In a mental hospital? I'd buy it.
- You?
771
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:38,880
If you can touch
even one person with it? Why not?
772
01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:43,200
You know what I think?
773
01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:46,040
That there's nothing more intimate
than dying together.
774
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:48,400
Yeah.
775
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:54,680
I think it's an honor to go
into death together with you.
776
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:57,160
Well, the honor is all mine.
777
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:06,600
Tomorrow morning, at sunrise, we do it.
778
01:03:08,160 --> 01:03:11,240
- What do we do in the meantime?
- Live, obviously.
779
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:55,960
- Hey. You bunch of lunatics.
- Hey.
780
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:02,280
- Come in, come in.
- Hello.
781
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:05,720
- Right...
- Welcome.
782
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:07,880
What are you doing here?
783
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:10,040
We just been given a bit more freedom.
784
01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:11,800
- Completely free.
- Yeah.
785
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:18,160
Emma, no.
786
01:04:18,240 --> 01:04:21,560
- Your hair, it feels dead.
- Really?
787
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,640
That's just great, for my hair.
788
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:25,600
No, I won't stand for this.
789
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:29,240
I've got my life somewhat under control.
And you're getting some color.
790
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:30,240
Really?
791
01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:57,480
You're doing really well, aren't you?
I'm really happy for you.
792
01:04:57,560 --> 01:04:59,880
Yeah, thanks.
793
01:04:59,960 --> 01:05:01,040
So how are you?
794
01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:09,840
Emma, it will pass, okay?
795
01:05:09,920 --> 01:05:12,280
It won't always be like this.
796
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:17,520
- Ta-da!
- Wow.
797
01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:22,240
Easy lies the head
that wears the pink crown.
798
01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:27,440
- Cool.
- Oh, shit.
799
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:31,280
- Come on.
- Yeah.
800
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:34,360
- Bye, Dimitri.
- So long.
801
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:10,800
Tomorrow around this time
we won't be here anymore.
802
01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:14,360
- There is no tomorrow around this time.
- There will be.
803
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:16,640
But without us.
804
01:06:44,160 --> 01:06:46,280
I want to show you something.
805
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:52,880
Hey, Boudewijn.
806
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:57,040
I am his twin brother: Jaap.
807
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:01,000
Nice to meet you.
808
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:14,600
This is what I wanted to show you.
My sanctuary.
809
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:21,800
Perfect.
810
01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:24,080
Look.
811
01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:26,640
No... Yes.
812
01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:45,640
- Jesus, this is delicious.
- Right?
813
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:46,800
Let's see.
814
01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:48,840
Yes.
815
01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:52,920
A little acidity.
816
01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:00,560
Bou.
817
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:04,080
What are you doing here?
818
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:08,200
I just wanted to show her our pride.
819
01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:10,160
You don't work here anymore.
820
01:08:10,240 --> 01:08:13,120
What the fuck? What's he sticking
his nose into?
821
01:08:13,200 --> 01:08:16,240
I blink once and he has taken over
not just you, but also my kitchen?
822
01:08:16,319 --> 01:08:19,359
Your problems go way back, Bou.
As you well know.
823
01:08:19,439 --> 01:08:21,520
Shouldn't you be in the loony bin?
824
01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:28,760
So it was your idea to take my kid
away from me, was it?
825
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:31,479
It's not like you're exactly
a role model, is it?
826
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:33,560
You should be shitting your pants
with shame.
827
01:08:33,640 --> 01:08:36,040
If it were up to me,
you'd never see your kid again.
828
01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:37,840
Felix, please.
829
01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:41,319
Why are you doing this?
830
01:08:42,279 --> 01:08:44,279
Bou, will you please leave?
831
01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:48,800
I love you, but I can't do this anymore.
I just can't.
832
01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:52,399
Do it for Ollie.
833
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:00,920
Hello.
834
01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:04,960
I'm sorry.
835
01:09:05,760 --> 01:09:07,479
I get it.
836
01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:13,160
Hang on.
837
01:09:35,319 --> 01:09:36,760
Yeah...
838
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:45,479
- Wow.
- Yeah.
839
01:09:47,680 --> 01:09:49,760
- Nice, right?
- Yeah.
840
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:13,600
What are you doing?
841
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:18,400
Making a wish.
842
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:21,440
You've got nothing left to wish for,
have you?
843
01:11:31,840 --> 01:11:32,680
Perfect.
844
01:11:32,760 --> 01:11:34,280
- Hey...
- Oh, hi.
845
01:11:34,360 --> 01:11:36,000
What are you doing here?
846
01:13:10,040 --> 01:13:11,760
- Did you...?
- No.
847
01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,800
But I loved it.
848
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:25,520
- And you? Did you...?
- Very much so.
849
01:13:59,080 --> 01:14:00,720
It's time.
850
01:14:07,200 --> 01:14:08,560
Are you afraid?
851
01:14:13,760 --> 01:14:15,600
No, I'm not afraid.
852
01:14:19,440 --> 01:14:20,560
But Bou...
853
01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:29,080
I think for the first time,
I actually feel alive.
854
01:14:30,720 --> 01:14:31,920
What?
855
01:14:35,440 --> 01:14:40,400
Maybe it's because of last night,
or because of you, or...
856
01:14:42,040 --> 01:14:44,800
I think it's just everything
that's happened lately.
857
01:14:44,880 --> 01:14:46,840
All those conversations...
858
01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:50,120
And the ping-pong, and the puzzles,
and the stews.
859
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:55,280
And everyone on the ward.
Even that bloody coffee machine.
860
01:14:56,640 --> 01:15:00,600
I don't know.
I just feel bits of myself coming back.
861
01:15:00,680 --> 01:15:03,680
No. This whole night
has led to this moment.
862
01:15:03,760 --> 01:15:07,320
- That we end it all together.
- Yeah, about that--
863
01:15:07,400 --> 01:15:11,360
What are you even saying? That you
want to go back? Back to what?
864
01:15:11,440 --> 01:15:13,200
Your perfect life?
865
01:15:17,160 --> 01:15:18,480
No...
866
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:22,400
I don't really know
what I want to go back to.
867
01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:27,160
But I'm just not done yet.
868
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:37,040
At least you've got
something to go back to.
869
01:15:38,360 --> 01:15:40,280
- I just want to...
- Live.
870
01:15:40,360 --> 01:15:43,400
Not die.
871
01:15:46,440 --> 01:15:47,880
Sorry.
872
01:15:52,480 --> 01:15:53,560
Open the door.
873
01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:05,920
Hey. No.
874
01:16:07,520 --> 01:16:11,880
Stop it. Let me go.
875
01:16:34,120 --> 01:16:35,640
May I?
876
01:16:38,480 --> 01:16:42,320
You really gave me a fright.
877
01:16:44,240 --> 01:16:45,760
Were you going to jump?
878
01:16:48,680 --> 01:16:50,680
Well, apparently not.
879
01:16:52,760 --> 01:16:55,960
Not this time. But last time, yeah.
880
01:16:56,040 --> 01:16:56,840
In the car.
881
01:17:00,560 --> 01:17:04,520
You better get some rest first.
882
01:17:06,200 --> 01:17:08,040
See you later.
883
01:17:22,760 --> 01:17:23,560
Cool.
884
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:26,480
Have you seen my voice recorder?
885
01:17:40,920 --> 01:17:42,440
- You okay?
- No.
886
01:17:45,840 --> 01:17:47,160
No running in the corridors.
887
01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:50,080
Sorry, but Kim fell
and she is in a lot of pain.
888
01:17:53,520 --> 01:17:54,840
You gave us quite a scare.
889
01:17:54,920 --> 01:17:57,280
Can't bear to think about
what could have happened.
890
01:17:57,360 --> 01:18:00,040
- Then don't. Because it didn't.
- Come on.
891
01:18:03,520 --> 01:18:05,360
- Do you get enough to eat here?
- Yes.
892
01:18:05,920 --> 01:18:09,080
I started with one sleeping pill.
Now it's three. And a few others.
893
01:18:13,720 --> 01:18:15,240
So what are you two up to?
894
01:18:15,320 --> 01:18:18,520
Your mother is still cheating on me
with Emperor Hadrian.
895
01:18:18,600 --> 01:18:22,320
Sometimes I think she's deliberately
not finishing that thesis.
896
01:18:22,400 --> 01:18:25,640
And I've just decided
I am going into beekeeping.
897
01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:28,040
- You're what?
- Beekeeping.
898
01:18:29,120 --> 01:18:30,320
With bees.
899
01:18:30,400 --> 01:18:33,080
Yeah, beekeeping without bees
seems a bit sad.
900
01:18:33,160 --> 01:18:36,160
Standing there in your suit. Without bees.
901
01:18:38,280 --> 01:18:41,520
You'll probably be better soon.
902
01:18:41,600 --> 01:18:44,080
But you really have to want it, okay?
That's key.
903
01:18:44,640 --> 01:18:47,840
Yes, Mom, of course I want it.
Why wouldn't I?
904
01:18:47,920 --> 01:18:49,680
Yeah, sure.
905
01:18:52,160 --> 01:18:54,600
Hey, cuckoo.
906
01:18:54,680 --> 01:18:56,520
Where's my old Emma?
907
01:18:57,120 --> 01:18:58,680
Hey, cuckoo.
908
01:18:59,680 --> 01:19:02,480
That old Emma...
She's not coming back, you know, Mom.
909
01:19:02,560 --> 01:19:07,080
- That supposedly perfect daughter.
- Just act normal for once.
910
01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:11,160
- I mean... You know we support you, right?
- Flossie...
911
01:19:11,240 --> 01:19:13,120
- "Act normal"?
- Yeah.
912
01:19:13,200 --> 01:19:17,440
- I'm so done with acting normal.
- Emma...
913
01:19:19,040 --> 01:19:20,280
Sweetheart...
914
01:19:21,240 --> 01:19:23,120
I just want to be alone.
915
01:19:23,720 --> 01:19:24,800
For a while.
916
01:19:24,880 --> 01:19:26,840
I have to do this myself.
917
01:19:28,520 --> 01:19:32,200
Sorry, but... I have to...
918
01:19:36,080 --> 01:19:37,240
Flossie!
919
01:19:43,920 --> 01:19:45,080
Boudewijn?
920
01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:49,680
- Hey.
- Hi.
921
01:19:49,760 --> 01:19:52,600
119... 120...
922
01:19:56,520 --> 01:19:58,080
Are we okay?
923
01:19:58,160 --> 01:20:01,200
Are we okay? We're amazing.
924
01:20:03,640 --> 01:20:05,400
Was that it?
925
01:20:08,200 --> 01:20:09,920
You won't let me down, will you?
926
01:20:11,080 --> 01:20:13,040
I'm doing my best.
927
01:20:16,440 --> 01:20:17,840
Bye.
928
01:20:23,280 --> 01:20:25,120
- Hi.
- Hi.
929
01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:41,880
There.
930
01:20:41,960 --> 01:20:44,480
Look. A bit like camping.
931
01:20:45,680 --> 01:20:49,280
Japanese people also sleep low
to the ground and live to 103. So...
932
01:20:49,360 --> 01:20:51,600
103. I don't even want to think about it.
933
01:20:58,960 --> 01:21:00,360
Move away from the window.
934
01:21:00,440 --> 01:21:04,440
- It is Boudewijn.
- People, away from that window.
935
01:22:08,280 --> 01:22:13,560
People don’t die on the pavement outside
the hospital. Jesus, bloody hell, fuck!
936
01:22:24,240 --> 01:22:25,800
Hey.
937
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:43,960
- Hey, Emma.
- Hey.
938
01:22:52,760 --> 01:22:55,880
Oh. For the next patient?
939
01:22:57,200 --> 01:23:01,840
Yeah, that's what it looks like.
But it doesn't feel like that.
940
01:23:03,600 --> 01:23:05,200
No.
941
01:24:10,920 --> 01:24:14,360
Hey, Emma. Did we have an appointment?
942
01:24:14,440 --> 01:24:15,840
Did you sleep here?
943
01:24:19,840 --> 01:24:22,040
I need your help.
944
01:24:23,760 --> 01:24:25,120
Sure.
945
01:24:35,720 --> 01:24:38,600
Hey, chicken with black beans and noodles.
946
01:24:38,680 --> 01:24:41,480
Yes, don't mind the mess.
947
01:24:45,240 --> 01:24:46,640
Here.
948
01:24:48,040 --> 01:24:50,520
Just scared I might actually
use it otherwise.
949
01:24:54,440 --> 01:24:57,280
- How are you feeling?
- Shitty.
950
01:24:58,800 --> 01:25:01,040
Do you want to talk about it?
951
01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:04,120
Okay.
952
01:25:07,200 --> 01:25:09,160
Look.
953
01:25:09,240 --> 01:25:14,080
Can't you just give me a pill
that makes me numb again?
954
01:25:14,160 --> 01:25:16,680
Because now I'm scared.
Afraid of my own thoughts.
955
01:25:16,760 --> 01:25:19,120
Afraid that it won't just stay
at thoughts.
956
01:25:19,200 --> 01:25:21,400
Afraid that I might actually do something.
957
01:25:22,720 --> 01:25:27,520
What if you didn't think at all?
How would you feel then?
958
01:25:29,480 --> 01:25:32,840
Terrible. Guilt, loss.
959
01:25:38,240 --> 01:25:40,760
Maybe you're not suicidal right now...
960
01:25:41,560 --> 01:25:44,000
but just grieving.
961
01:25:45,320 --> 01:25:46,480
Yeah.
962
01:25:47,400 --> 01:25:48,840
Yeah...
963
01:26:15,920 --> 01:26:18,440
- Feels good.
- Yeah?
964
01:26:19,920 --> 01:26:21,520
Yeah.
965
01:26:25,000 --> 01:26:28,520
- Just normal, I guess.
- What do you mean by "normal"?
966
01:26:28,600 --> 01:26:32,200
You fall out of bed regularly.
That's not exactly normal.
967
01:26:32,280 --> 01:26:35,480
Just force of habit.
968
01:26:35,560 --> 01:26:39,600
I thought if I fell really hard,
maybe they'd notice me.
969
01:26:39,680 --> 01:26:42,520
Started when I was five. Spoiler alert.
970
01:26:42,600 --> 01:26:44,720
They don't notice me. My father, at least.
971
01:26:44,800 --> 01:26:47,280
My mother's gone, so I can't ask her.
972
01:26:48,040 --> 01:26:53,280
I'm just some kind of background noise
for him, which he ignores.
973
01:26:54,280 --> 01:26:56,720
Does anyone recognize this feeling?
974
01:27:00,840 --> 01:27:02,880
I think...
975
01:27:03,400 --> 01:27:08,320
I think I've always wanted
to be invisible.
976
01:27:08,400 --> 01:27:11,040
Even as a child. I didn't want to be
a burden to my parents.
977
01:27:11,120 --> 01:27:14,160
They were so caught up in their own stuff.
978
01:27:16,200 --> 01:27:19,120
So I felt like I shouldn't make a fuss.
979
01:27:19,200 --> 01:27:21,480
I just had to be perfect.
980
01:27:25,920 --> 01:27:29,720
I can relate to that.
The need to be perfect.
981
01:27:29,800 --> 01:27:31,520
For your parents?
982
01:27:31,600 --> 01:27:34,920
Yes, my dad used to say
that nothing is impossible.
983
01:27:35,000 --> 01:27:38,360
And I did try. Every day, I did nothing.
984
01:27:39,960 --> 01:27:42,400
And you, Emma? Go on.
985
01:27:47,560 --> 01:27:52,160
Well, right now, I mostly just
don't want to die anymore.
986
01:27:55,160 --> 01:27:56,960
Crazy, right?
987
01:27:58,120 --> 01:28:00,440
That's actually a really good thing.
988
01:28:01,720 --> 01:28:04,440
Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is.
989
01:28:30,840 --> 01:28:32,760
It's a bit stuffy here.
990
01:28:32,840 --> 01:28:35,120
I get that we can't open the windows
all the way.
991
01:28:35,200 --> 01:28:38,880
But then put up a screen,
or get a proper air conditioner.
992
01:28:46,080 --> 01:28:48,720
- What are you doing?
- I'm meditating.
993
01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:51,000
Oh, cool.
994
01:29:03,520 --> 01:29:05,200
Half past eight?
995
01:29:07,440 --> 01:29:09,640
It's half past eight. I've overslept.
996
01:29:09,720 --> 01:29:14,160
- Emma, congratulations.
- Nice one.
997
01:29:14,240 --> 01:29:16,520
- Good job.
- Yes.
998
01:29:41,880 --> 01:29:44,000
- Hey.
- Hi.
999
01:29:45,280 --> 01:29:47,800
I just wanted to wish you
a Merry Christmas.
1000
01:29:47,880 --> 01:29:49,680
Merry Christmas.
1001
01:29:51,720 --> 01:29:54,960
Yeah, you too. Merry Christmas.
1002
01:29:55,840 --> 01:29:57,200
Bye.
1003
01:30:01,560 --> 01:30:03,000
Ms. Nieuwenhuis?
1004
01:30:03,080 --> 01:30:05,280
- Have a good day.
- You too.
1005
01:30:08,720 --> 01:30:10,640
Waiting for Guus?
1006
01:30:37,320 --> 01:30:38,800
Hey.
1007
01:30:40,560 --> 01:30:42,240
Caught in the act.
1008
01:30:44,440 --> 01:30:48,560
Shouldn't you be doing the "peace
on earth and good will to all men" thing?
1009
01:30:48,640 --> 01:30:52,880
Awkwardness around a table full
of candles and getting way too drunk?
1010
01:30:54,160 --> 01:30:56,120
Hey, are you okay?
1011
01:30:58,800 --> 01:31:03,080
My girlfriend thought Christmas was
the perfect time to pick up her stuff.
1012
01:31:03,160 --> 01:31:06,440
I can see how that would
set the mood, yeah.
1013
01:31:06,520 --> 01:31:08,040
That's why home...
1014
01:31:08,120 --> 01:31:13,120
isn't really feeling like home for me
right now.
1015
01:31:14,800 --> 01:31:18,040
Yeah, so I made a choice for my work. And...
1016
01:31:19,720 --> 01:31:21,640
She made the choice for herself.
1017
01:31:27,520 --> 01:31:28,760
What a lovely couple we are.
1018
01:31:29,320 --> 01:31:32,800
You got dumped. And I'm...
1019
01:31:34,280 --> 01:31:35,600
Depressed?
1020
01:31:39,920 --> 01:31:40,720
Yeah.
1021
01:31:47,600 --> 01:31:48,880
Hungry?
1022
01:31:49,560 --> 01:31:52,040
- Hey.
- Hello?
1023
01:31:53,320 --> 01:31:54,760
- Hey.
- Hey.
1024
01:31:55,920 --> 01:31:57,440
Huh?
1025
01:32:01,440 --> 01:32:04,160
Hey, Mr. Waggle. Hi.
1026
01:32:04,240 --> 01:32:07,000
Hey, boy. Hey, you little rascal.
1027
01:32:08,000 --> 01:32:09,640
I thought you were Lucky House.
1028
01:32:09,720 --> 01:32:12,720
No, we're Nieuwenhuis Catering.
1029
01:32:12,800 --> 01:32:14,560
The competition.
1030
01:32:15,040 --> 01:32:19,000
We just wanted to drop this off.
We don't want to bother you.
1031
01:32:19,720 --> 01:32:22,400
- There you go.
- Well, it's Christmas. So...
1032
01:32:22,480 --> 01:32:24,480
Of course you can stay.
1033
01:32:26,320 --> 01:32:28,200
- Okay.
- Oh, really?
1034
01:32:28,280 --> 01:32:30,520
- Well...
- Yes, please.
1035
01:32:35,120 --> 01:32:36,560
Let me help you.
1036
01:32:37,920 --> 01:32:41,120
More plates.
1037
01:32:46,520 --> 01:32:48,320
- Here you go.
- Forks...
1038
01:33:04,000 --> 01:33:05,720
About that incident with the car...
1039
01:33:06,920 --> 01:33:09,040
Back then, I didn't want...
1040
01:33:11,640 --> 01:33:13,720
To be helped. So I...
1041
01:33:13,800 --> 01:33:17,160
I wanted them to leave.
To just leave me alone.
1042
01:33:19,400 --> 01:33:20,680
Oh, Emma...
1043
01:33:22,840 --> 01:33:24,400
It wasn't an accident.
1044
01:33:29,640 --> 01:33:31,400
I didn't really know what it was.
1045
01:33:31,480 --> 01:33:35,160
But I did know that something
wasn't quite right in my head.
1046
01:33:35,240 --> 01:33:41,240
And I... I just felt so stupid.
1047
01:33:42,240 --> 01:33:46,320
And I was ashamed all the time
1048
01:33:46,400 --> 01:33:49,320
because of the things I said
and the things I thought.
1049
01:33:49,400 --> 01:33:52,760
And the idea that I'd have to
talk about it with you
1050
01:33:52,840 --> 01:33:56,000
or tell you about it,
that just felt impossible.
1051
01:33:56,080 --> 01:33:58,800
Or tell Sergei. Or anyone.
1052
01:34:01,960 --> 01:34:03,880
So I thought...
1053
01:34:05,920 --> 01:34:08,640
Maybe it would just be easier
if I were dead?
1054
01:34:08,720 --> 01:34:12,040
For you. And for myself too. Really.
1055
01:34:21,880 --> 01:34:23,920
So yeah. I'm depressed.
1056
01:34:25,600 --> 01:34:30,680
And I've been that way for a long time,
Much longer than I care to admit.
1057
01:34:34,680 --> 01:34:36,600
God...
1058
01:34:36,680 --> 01:34:39,600
God, why didn't I know?
1059
01:34:39,680 --> 01:34:41,880
I didn't know either.
1060
01:34:41,960 --> 01:34:45,680
- It's just complicated.
- Yeah.
1061
01:34:52,480 --> 01:34:54,800
Oh, I'll go.
1062
01:34:54,880 --> 01:34:56,520
Here.
1063
01:35:02,960 --> 01:35:04,800
- Bye.
- Bye.
1064
01:35:18,840 --> 01:35:21,120
I don't think he's coming anymore, Joyce.
1065
01:35:28,840 --> 01:35:30,400
Look.
1066
01:35:30,480 --> 01:35:31,680
Here.
1067
01:35:32,560 --> 01:35:34,680
Right. This is nice.
1068
01:35:37,120 --> 01:35:39,480
Guus can go fuck himself.
1069
01:35:39,560 --> 01:35:41,920
Look. This one's for you.
1070
01:35:42,000 --> 01:35:43,560
- Really?
- Yeah.
1071
01:35:43,640 --> 01:35:47,520
- This one's for you.
- Oh, that's nice, Mr. De Bruin.
1072
01:35:49,400 --> 01:35:51,000
- Nice box.
- This one for you.
1073
01:35:51,080 --> 01:35:53,240
- For me?
- Yeah.
1074
01:35:53,320 --> 01:35:57,400
I forgot I still had to give you something
because of the trouble with Guus.
1075
01:35:57,480 --> 01:35:59,000
Here.
1076
01:35:59,880 --> 01:36:02,240
- Hey.
- From Boudewijn.
1077
01:36:03,600 --> 01:36:05,240
From Boudewijn?
1078
01:36:16,560 --> 01:36:22,600
Hey Emma, a little message from me,
from the other side.
1079
01:36:22,680 --> 01:36:26,000
I really, really don't want you
to feel guilty.
1080
01:36:26,080 --> 01:36:27,640
Not at all.
1081
01:36:27,720 --> 01:36:30,040
This was my deepest wish.
1082
01:36:30,120 --> 01:36:33,240
And besides, if I don't take those pills,
I come in ten seconds.
1083
01:36:33,320 --> 01:36:34,720
Six, max.
1084
01:36:35,400 --> 01:36:37,280
Especially with someone like you.
1085
01:36:38,400 --> 01:36:41,160
So, Nieuwenhuis. Make something of it.
1086
01:36:41,240 --> 01:36:44,000
And honestly, I think you're actually
going to pull it off.
1087
01:36:45,080 --> 01:36:46,680
- And that... Oh.
- Boudewijn?
1088
01:36:46,760 --> 01:36:48,280
Someone's knocking.
1089
01:36:48,360 --> 01:36:51,080
I'll go open the door.
Probably some nutcase.
1090
01:36:51,160 --> 01:36:52,720
Bye for now.
1091
01:36:54,440 --> 01:36:55,880
- Hey.
- Hi.
1092
01:36:55,960 --> 01:36:57,720
Are we okay?
1093
01:37:02,080 --> 01:37:03,440
Well...
1094
01:37:05,280 --> 01:37:08,760
- To Boudewijn.
- Yeah, to Boudewijn.
1095
01:37:08,840 --> 01:37:10,920
Cheers.
1096
01:37:43,560 --> 01:37:45,560
Okay, here I go.
1097
01:37:47,600 --> 01:37:49,000
I'm Emma.
1098
01:37:49,720 --> 01:37:52,760
Successful woman. Junior redact--
1099
01:37:52,840 --> 01:37:55,200
It feels like I have to keep moving
all the time.
1100
01:37:55,280 --> 01:37:57,920
Because if I stop, everything will--
1101
01:37:58,000 --> 01:38:01,800
I don't know what I want anymore.
I do know I don't want to live like this.
1102
01:38:01,880 --> 01:38:05,640
They say it will get better. But when,
exactly? I don't even know how to--
1103
01:38:06,440 --> 01:38:09,160
At first glance, the psychiatric ward
1104
01:38:09,240 --> 01:38:12,000
is no different from any other
hospital department.
1105
01:38:12,080 --> 01:38:16,000
You come in with a problem
and you leave again. Cured, or not.
1106
01:38:16,080 --> 01:38:19,080
When you break your arm, you go to the ER.
1107
01:38:19,160 --> 01:38:21,760
You tell the doctor what happened,
where it hurts
1108
01:38:21,840 --> 01:38:23,760
and then you wait for their advice.
1109
01:38:35,560 --> 01:38:39,200
Here. I hope you get to leave soon too.
1110
01:38:39,280 --> 01:38:42,760
Yeah, maybe.
But for now, I'm happy for you.
1111
01:38:48,200 --> 01:38:50,520
- You've got this, Emma.
- Yeah. See you soon.
1112
01:38:50,600 --> 01:38:52,320
No, not "see you soon."
1113
01:38:54,040 --> 01:38:55,440
Bye.
1114
01:38:57,520 --> 01:38:59,920
- Bye now.
- Bye.
1115
01:39:07,320 --> 01:39:09,200
How are you feeling?
1116
01:39:10,360 --> 01:39:14,040
Yeah... Okay. I think.
I'm not entirely sure.
1117
01:39:14,120 --> 01:39:17,120
It does feel a bit daunting.
I don't have that much energy.
1118
01:39:17,200 --> 01:39:19,160
Especially compared to
when I first came in.
1119
01:39:19,240 --> 01:39:23,280
Back then, I felt like I could take on
the world. Or at least, I thought I could.
1120
01:39:24,440 --> 01:39:26,160
You'll find a middle ground.
1121
01:39:26,240 --> 01:39:30,240
Slightly lower highs,
slightly less deep lows.
1122
01:39:30,320 --> 01:39:32,080
Give it time.
1123
01:39:33,160 --> 01:39:35,920
Finding a middle ground
sounds pretty boring, though.
1124
01:39:36,000 --> 01:39:39,320
You'll still be you,
and that's not boring.
1125
01:39:40,240 --> 01:39:41,040
No.
1126
01:39:43,160 --> 01:39:46,040
- And you? What are you going to do?
- I'm taking a break.
1127
01:39:46,120 --> 01:39:50,000
- Oh, nice. A mental-health break?
- Uh, no.
1128
01:39:52,200 --> 01:39:53,600
Okay.
1129
01:40:00,360 --> 01:40:02,120
Can I give you a hug?
1130
01:40:02,680 --> 01:40:05,440
- That would be very unprofessional.
- Yeah.
1131
01:40:13,480 --> 01:40:15,560
- Well, bye.
- Bye.
1132
01:40:29,640 --> 01:40:32,080
We just go straight here.
1133
01:40:32,160 --> 01:40:35,280
- Where is it exactly?
- A little further.
1134
01:40:35,360 --> 01:40:37,440
- Is this it?
- Yes.
1135
01:40:37,520 --> 01:40:41,240
- Time to get out.
- Yeah, definitely. One hundred percent.
1136
01:40:41,320 --> 01:40:44,040
Emma, Emma, go, go, go.
1137
01:40:44,120 --> 01:40:45,800
Thanks, Guus. Excellent.
1138
01:40:48,480 --> 01:40:49,840
- There?
- Yes.
1139
01:40:49,920 --> 01:40:51,320
Come on.
1140
01:40:51,400 --> 01:40:53,080
There's posters everywhere.
1141
01:40:53,160 --> 01:40:54,920
- Wow, look at that.
- Look!
1142
01:40:57,560 --> 01:41:01,080
- Hey, hi. You look great.
- Can I take one? Thank you.
1143
01:41:01,160 --> 01:41:02,920
- Hey, Pipsqueak.
- Hey, Dad.
1144
01:41:03,520 --> 01:41:04,920
Good coffee here.
1145
01:41:06,560 --> 01:41:09,160
Emma. Emma Nieuwenhuis.
1146
01:41:10,800 --> 01:41:15,080
She looked at me, shook my hand
and smiled when she came to apply.
1147
01:41:15,160 --> 01:41:18,040
She pointed out a few irregularities
on the website
1148
01:41:18,120 --> 01:41:21,160
and suggested making a list
of corrections.
1149
01:41:22,560 --> 01:41:25,280
And now you've written a book yourself.
1150
01:41:25,360 --> 01:41:29,960
The only manuscript ever submitted
completely error-free.
1151
01:41:30,040 --> 01:41:34,960
Emma. You have written a beautiful book.
1152
01:41:35,040 --> 01:41:36,640
- Thank you.
- Congratulations.
1153
01:41:36,720 --> 01:41:38,280
Thank you.
1154
01:41:45,160 --> 01:41:46,240
Okay.
1155
01:41:47,640 --> 01:41:49,040
Hi.
1156
01:41:53,800 --> 01:41:58,400
"I always thought that being broken
meant you could never be whole again."
1157
01:41:58,480 --> 01:42:00,560
"But that isn't true."
1158
01:42:00,640 --> 01:42:04,600
"Being broken just means
that you need a different form."
1159
01:42:05,240 --> 01:42:07,240
"Life doesn't come with a manual."
1160
01:42:07,320 --> 01:42:11,320
"No instructions for putting
yourself back together."
1161
01:42:11,400 --> 01:42:14,160
"But this is what I've learned."
1162
01:42:15,160 --> 01:42:18,120
"You don't have to know
everything at once."
1163
01:42:18,200 --> 01:42:19,880
"You just have to keep going."
1164
01:42:19,960 --> 01:42:23,240
"Step by step. Day by day."
1165
01:42:24,240 --> 01:42:27,160
"Maybe I didn't become
who I wanted to be."
1166
01:42:28,000 --> 01:42:30,160
"But I am who I am."
1167
01:42:30,240 --> 01:42:31,400
"And that is enough."
1168
01:42:37,120 --> 01:42:40,280
Oh, these are happy tears. Really.
1169
01:42:48,840 --> 01:42:49,640
Emma!
1170
01:42:54,720 --> 01:42:56,520
Oh, sweetheart...
1171
01:42:56,600 --> 01:42:59,680
Sometimes you disappear into the shadows
1172
01:42:59,760 --> 01:43:06,240
Turn into a dark alley
Where no one can see you anymore
1173
01:43:06,320 --> 01:43:11,920
Sometimes I have no idea
Where you are going
1174
01:43:12,000 --> 01:43:13,920
And neither, it seems, do you
1175
01:43:16,160 --> 01:43:20,360
But if you ever want to disappear again
1176
01:43:20,440 --> 01:43:24,920
If your world comes crashing down
Once more
1177
01:43:26,680 --> 01:43:30,600
Know that I will always be here
1178
01:43:31,760 --> 01:43:36,080
I'll let you go
But I'll never leave you alone
1179
01:43:36,880 --> 01:43:40,520
Wherever you go
I'll be close by your side
1180
01:43:40,600 --> 01:43:43,440
Even if you've sunk
Into the deepest of depths
1181
01:43:43,520 --> 01:43:46,600
I'm no longer afraid of your darkness
1182
01:43:46,680 --> 01:43:52,640
I don't need to turn on a light for you
My love
1183
01:43:53,240 --> 01:43:57,720
I'm no longer afraid of your darkness
1184
01:44:22,560 --> 01:44:26,480
Have you been affected by this topic?
Contact the MIND helpline at 0900-1450.
1185
01:44:26,560 --> 01:44:29,440
Are you thinking about suicide?
Call 113 or chat at 113.nl.